I have to vent a little. The saying, "This is my party and I'll cry if I want to" is one of the reasons I started a blog. It is my blog and I am going to cry, lol. I hope I do not offend anyone, yet at the same time if I can help someone see something from a different perspective I will be happy. Here is the problem:
We have 2 daughters we adopted from Guatemala over a year ago. Most people are happy and supportive. Most do not say "things" that could be taken in an offensive manner, but some do. I would like to think they say it innocently, not realizing it could be taken the wrong way. We feel these girls are just as much a part of our family as the children who came to us biologically. They just came in a different way. While at the doctor's office yesterday, Zoe cried and held her arms up to me and said, "Mommy, Mommy." She was scared because she remembered the last time she went, she got a shot. The doctor in a very surprised tone said, "Oh, she calls you mommy?" Well, why wouldn't she? I am the one who takes care of her, helps her when she gets hurt, feeds her, etc. Another time at the store, there was a lady who asked, "How much did you buy them for?" Um, we didn't purchase them as if they were objects..........we adopted them. We also have a lot of people say, "Are they sisters?" When I answer, "They are now" I feel that should be enough of a hint to let them know that they are not biologically related, but people still need to take it further and say, "No, I mean are they blood sisters." All while the girls are in hearing range. There have been many more comments and some more innocent but some just plain out rude. One man said, "Why in the world would you want to do that??!!"
I don't want to give the wrong idea. If anyone is considering adoption or just interested, I love to help them in any way I can. I was once the curious on-looker and wanted to have my questions answered. It is just that I wish people would just realize that these girls have ears and they have feelings. They are not worse or better than other children..........they are "just" children. They want to play like other children and don't want others to pity them and think "oh, this poor orphan" and go out of their way to give them more attention than the other children in a patronizing way. They don't want to feel any differently than any other child. They don't owe others their story. It is their story to share when and how they choose. I don't feel I always owe it to others either. Especially if it is a comment like, "Do they speak English or Spanish?" after I tell them they have been here well over a year. They live in a home where English is spoken. They are smart girls. If my son who is serving a mission in Honduras already knows Spanish after living there for only 6 months, then these young minds certainly have learned English by now. Sorry for the rant. I realize the girls look differently than we do so I certainly expect some attention over that. I just hope that people will please think about the girls' feelings before making comments about such things. They are young, but they are not deaf. Please before you ask me in front of the girls if they are going to grow up and hate me because I have robbed them of their birth country.........just try to realize that families are all made up differently. God brings us together in many different ways. We wanted more children and these girls NEEDED a family. God worked it all out according to His plan. Hopefully they will not grow up to hate us, but if they do I will know I did everything I could for them.
This is one of our family clowns. Ever since she was little, she has always come out with the funniest things. Things that make us question, "Where did she come up with that?" Like the time our teenage daughter was trying to explain to her father that when teenagers used the term "ghetto" they were not referring to a place, but using the word as an adjective to describe something.......let's just say......trashy. We were on the way home from a church activity as this discussion took place. Brailyn was about 3 years old and was in the car seat directly behind her father and thought she would chime in to help out. She apparently had a perfect view of the back of her father's head, because she said, "Dad, you know.........like your bald spot is ghetto?" We were all speechless a moment before the van was filled with laughter. Yes, it wasn't so nice........but a 3 year old?
One of these events happened again the other night. Madison was crying in her bed so I brought her in to my bed and was holding her. Our oldest son came in to ask me something and noticed his younger sister on my lap and asked, "What happened to her?" Our teenage daughter who was at the computer said, "Night terrors." Brailyn, who was already in bed with me said, "No, hemorroids." Once again, laughter. We aren't quite sure where she learned the term and no she did not know the meaning of the word, but she does keep us laughing. We think we will keep her. :-)
I have been wanting to start a blog for a long time now. I waivered back and forth because really I am kind of a private person. I finally decided it was time. This will really just be a journal for me. It is a way of remembering our lifes' journey. I am excited about this! This post is short because it is a test post. More to come later.
